How to Face a Scary Diagnosis

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

• Your emotions are normal. Allow yourself to experience them, but in a healthy way.

2. Gather Information and Educate Yourself

• Get as much information from your medical team in print as you can. Ask for clarification of anything you don’t understand. Get a second opinion if you are uncertain, either about the diagnosis or about your ability to work well with this medical team.
• Look up additional information on your own. But beware of Dr. Google! You will find an incredible amount of information online, but not all of it (maybe not even most of it) is credible. Pay attention to the source of information. You can usually trust the webpages of official associations related to your diagnosis, and to legitimate medical and research sites.
• Collect your information into a notebook or folder. Keep it organized and updated.

3. Secure Your Support

• Create a contact list of all family members, neighbors and friends whom you consider supportive.
• Choose your contacts wisely. Some of your friends are always willing to lend a shoulder or an ear, or help out with transportation or other tasks. But there are others who are alarmists or doomsayers, or who make everything about themselves. They do not belong in your support system.
• Consider joining a support group, whether it is local in-person, online, or by phone. Chatting with people with a similar diagnosis can give you a sense of community and provide valuable insights.
• Seek support, when you need it, only from those most likely to be able to provide what you need.

4. Take a Break

• Don’t let fear get you down by letting it take over your thoughts. 
• Schedule some daily worry-free time to relax, pursue a hobby, spend time in nature, or chat with someone from your support team. 
• Perhaps getting away physically is an option, even if it’s only going out to eat or visiting a local park. Your life includes so much more than just the diagnosis.

5. Be Patient With Yourself

• Express your feelings. You might consider journaling or sharing with a supportive family member or friend.
• Concentrate on what brings purpose and meaning to your life. Stay connected with people who have a positive, optimistic outlook.
• Focus on maintaining healthy habits, including diet, exercise, and rest.
• Set realistic goals for yourself. Learn to say no and to ask for and accept help gracefully. Focus on your abilities and useful coping strategies, rather than emphasizing your limitations or “what might have been.”
• Seek professional mental health help if you need additional support.

Remember that what comforted you before the diagnosis is likely to work now.